A Show Stopper
Well, I have put myself out there in the
“dating” world and added my profile to at least two internet dating sites for
senior singles. I also have a profile on a left-wing “green” site that has a
singles-seeking option. I have met two interesting men on the green site. One
who is originally from Bangladesh ,
but is a US
I only recently met singles from the other
sites. One man is ten years younger, lives near Charlotte
The widower and I e-chatted on the dating
site and then exchanged phone numbers. On the dating site, you have a “user
name” and so, when we spoke on the phone, “Sam” asked me my name and I told him. Then he emailed me specifics for the dinner
date, but he called me “Amanda” which is NOT my name, but over the phone, you
could possibly hear it that way. I kindly corrected him and then suggested that
I call him “Sam” rather than his given name since I had a psychic reading about
a year ago and she told me I was going to meet “Sam” who would be the love of
my life. This became our little joke and
we began referring to each other as Amanda and Sam.
The plans for dinner were that we go ‘dutch’
because so many men on the site whine about having to pay for dinner and
getting nothing in return OR of not being satisfied if they do not meet up with
a swimsuit model. Sam reluctantly agreed. We decided to meet in the parking lot
of the restaurant at 7PM. He said he would be driving a Corvet.
When I called Sam to let him know I was
running late, he was having problems finding the restaurant, so I told him to
meet me in the Hobby Lobby parking lot.
He agreed. I could see the brand
new white Corvet as I pulled into the lot and I sped right up to it and
pretended I was going to crash into it.
Sam laughed, rolled down his window and I pointed to the restaurant
right across the little side street. The Thai Lotus. It is under new management
and it is absolutely WONDERFUL!!!!!
We parked our cars and got out. Sam was at least six feet tall. He had white hair and gray/blue eyes. He was “fluffy” but not “fat.” (like me)….so I felt quite relaxed. What I
noticed right off was his manners. He
opened the door to the restaurant, held out my chair for me to sit, waited for
me to order first, and tried to keep the conversation on me.
As the evening wore on, I think we both
became quite relaxed with each other. We
had wine, a Reisling which I suggested, and he liked it. He asked if I liked
his shirt and I said I did. Then he told
me he had gone shopping that afternoon for something to wear. He also volunteered that this evening was the
first time he ever took off his wedding ring.
I noticed the indentation on his finger. Knowing that he was married for
over 30 years and that he had been the caregiver to his wife in her last days
really made me feel such respect and admiration for him and I told him so.
He also found himself talking about his wife
and apologized to me. I told him there
was no need to apologize. He must need to speak of her to keep the memories
alive and begin to heal. He seemed like a very sweet man. I was not feeling any
fireworks, but I decided I would really like to see him again and develop a friendship
and at least share some music together, since he said he really loves to sing.
We found plenty to talk about and we even
shared a dessert tray together. When the
check came, he would NOT let me share it, but insisted on paying for the
evening. It made the independent side of me bristle a bit, but the feminine
side was smiling.
When we left, he asked if I would like to
ride in the Corvet. I was excited to go
for a little spin. I had never been in a
Corvet before. He opened my door and got
me settled, then he went over to his side and started to get in….and it was no
small feat, cramming a six-foot teddy bear into a little Corvet. We had a lovely ride up 127 North to the
marina where we turned around and saw the most beautiful sunset display I have
ever seen! It was a gift for sure.
We headed back to the parking lot and said
our goodbyes. As I drove home, he drove beside me and at a stop light, he
rolled down his window and said he missed me already. Now, that made me feel nice!
Well, that was Sunday. It is now Wednesday and I have not heard from
him. I am not “needy” but I really
thought he would email or call by now and I got worried, so I sent a short
email to ask if he was okay. His reply
was: “I didn’t notice on your profile that you were not a Christian and that is
a show-stopper for me.”
Now, I would have been prepared for “I just
don’t think we have anything in common” but to refuse friendship because I am
not a Christian really hurts. I do not partake
in human sacrifice. I do not worship the devil. I just cannot limit my
spirituality to the Christian tenet that unless you believe that Jesus Christ died
for your sins and unless and you confess Him as your Lord and Savior, you are
going to Hell….along with all of the other people who believe differently.
Now, I used to be a Christian and a very
devout one. And if you told me back then that I would ever NOT be a Christian,
I would have thought you were a heretic. I am not sure how I got to where I am,
but I have read and studied all of the “holy” texts, including the Bible. I
want to know everything there is to know about faith and spirituality. I have
come to love the teachings of Buddah; of the Hindu faith; the beautiful poetry
of the Koran and its teachings of peace and equality; the earth-based
narratives of the Native American Indians; and the pure teachings of Jesus
Christ. I have also read how, when any
of these beautiful spiritual teachings become corrupted by fundamental
interpretation, holy wars ensue and innocents are slaughtered in the name of
one of the many “Gods.”
